Kristen Taylor: Taking care of the mother & the family..
Here are two great articles that show you tips/tricks on how to stock up on food in your freezer-something that will pay off when you have a new baby in the house and still need to eat. :0)
Stock Your Freezer- Tips/Tricks:
http://annies-eats.net/2010/08/26/stock-your-freezer-tips-and-tricks/
and
Stocking up on Make Ahead Meals:
http://annies-eats.net/2011/03/28/stocking-the-freezer-make-ahead-meals/
I came across a great article on what exactly a Postpartum Doula is all about- Love reading these and how a Postpartum Doula can help a family in so many different ways.
Complete article can be found here:
http://itsmybabyblog.com/2011/03/21/whats-a-postpartum-doula/
Though birth doulas and midwives are becoming a standard fixture in the delivery room, a lot of you pregnant and new parents are still curious about postpartum doulas and their role in the new baby season. Read on to learn what a postpartum doula is all about.
Let’s Start at Ground Zero, Here. Explain Postpartum Doula.
A “woman who serves,” a “mother to the mother,” a “baby-whisperer.” In the simplest terms, a postpartum doula is a professionally-trained woman who is hired to come into the home and support moms and dads in the first days, weeks, and sometimes months, immediately following delivery or adoption. The word “doula” comes from the Greek and means “a woman who serves.” But more than a servant, the postpartum doula is a nurturer, because babies aren’t the only ones who need help adjusting to this new world. The work they do is as varied as the families they serve.
What Exactly Does a Postpartum Doula Do?
Postpartum doulas are trained to serve you. They specialize in lactation assistance, baby monitoring, newborn basics and bonding, nutrition, safety, infant development, soothing techniques, healing practices, and also postpartum adjustment—their radar is honed to scope out postpartum mood disorders, and other emotional and physical changes that are bound to accompany the post-delivery days and weeks.
They are educators, caregivers, guides, and friends, assisting not only mom, but the whole family—Dad, grandparents, and siblings too.
Says one professional doula,
As a postpartum doula, I support new mothers in the month or so after birth. I cook, fold laundry, make tea, bake muffins. I give foot massages and hugs. I keep visitors in line and I keep Mama from writing thank-you notes if there are dark circles under her eyes. I offer to do it for her. It’ll be our little secret.
I am CPR-certified and overeducated on all things newborn. I know the signs of postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, birth trauma, and mastitis. I know how to achieve a good latch at the breast, I can make a bottle with one hand, and I know several tricks for soothing fussy babies.
I honor birth stories, I shoulder anger, I dissolve guilt and fear. I do not judge and I do not try to do things my way. I teach, but I don’t give advice unless asked. I am a humble servant, I am a secret keeper, I am a baby burper. I am a mother to the mother.**
But I Have Lots of Family in the Area—Do I Need a Doula?
The answer to that question probably depends on your family and the level of support and care they offer you. Not everyone has a mother they can trust to come over, pitch in and help out—without the added commentary on how she’d do it differently if she were you. One of the things new parents most appreciate about doulas is the complete lack of pretense—the doula is there to help you and support you in doing what you are doing, not to change it up and impose her system. Because your doula doesn’t have an emotional investment in the way you desire to parent your newborn, she’s a help to the process, rather than a hurdle.
But doulas aren’t just for women with especially vocal mothers and mothers-in-law. Maybe you’d rather let mom do the fun grandma things like helping to entertain your visitors and taking care of siblings, and then let your doula handle the night shift. Doulas don’t usurp the role of family members in supporting a mother at this special time—rather they are advocates, making sure mom’s needs get handled in the midst of the new baby hubbub. Said one doula, “The best thing I can do is to be quietly present. To take care of “things”, while mom is learning her new role.”
We’ve Already Had One (or more) Baby(ies) and We Muddled Through All Right on Our Own—Do We Need a Doula for Babies Two, Three, Four…?
The key phrase in that question is “muddled through.” The priority of a doula isn’t muddling through, it’s that mom, dad, and baby would thrive and flourish because they’re rested, well-fed, and well-supported in an environment that is tidy, orderly, and calm. “Thriving and flourishing,” or “muddling through” and “just making it”—you decide.
Though postpartum doulas are especially beneficial in the case of first-time births, multiples, and preemies, mothers at any stage of their childbearing journey will benefit from the always-at-your-side support of her doula.
If you have more questions about postpartum doulas and what they do, or you have your own doula story to share, put it in the comments section—we want to get the conversation going among moms and dads—What do you want to know about PP doulas? How did a PP doula change your experience of bringing home baby?
**Quote by doula Jen Rognerud. Click here to read her essay at Skirt.com.
By Jacki Christopher
One of my favorite parts of being a Postpartum Doula is meeting/chatting with a ‘soon-to-be’ expanding family..Couples expeceting their first-born or their 3rd and 4th at the same time (Twins!)..Every family is so different and have different expectations on how they want/imagine the Postpartum time to unfold.. Some people have a strict schedule they want to stick with and need help incorporating a new family member into the mix and some can’t even imagine what’s about to happen because they have never experienced it yet.
It’s easy to think of all the family members and friends that your surrounded with and how excited they are about the new baby and your new and expanding family..that it’s almost impossible to think that you would ever need an extra set of hands..
but you do!.. and this article tells you why..
“Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born.” … “Just let me know if you need a hand.” … “Anything I can do, just give me a call.”
Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of “I’m fine, I’m doing great, new motherhood is wonderful, I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar” is pervasive in postpartum land. If you’re too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It’s actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what’s wanted and needed…
1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.
2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____). 3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.
4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.
5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.
6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”
7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.
8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.
9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.
10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.
These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It’s easy to spend money on gifts but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members don’t know what they can do that won’t be an intrusion. They also can’t devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote 4 hours. If you let 10 people help you out for 4 hours, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There’s magic in the little prayer “I need help.”
First posted online August 2001
Gloria Lemay:
Postpartum doulas are knowledgeable professionals who assist families during the critical period immediately after the birth of their baby. They “mother the mother,” and offer physical, emotional, and informational support to the family, as well as practical help. The doula’s expertise in mother and baby care enables her to assist with postpartum comfort measures, breastfeeding support, non-judgmental guidance in infant care techniques, information on normal postpartum restoration, and family emotional assistance through this major transition. These doulas provide essential support during the modern postpartum experience, a time when many mothers today feel uninformed, isolated, and anxious. Traditionally, the postpartum period was a “nesting period,” when a new mother was attended to by other experienced mothers. They helped take care of her and her family so that the mother could focus on the vital tasks of postpartum recovery: emotional adaptation to great change, and getting to know her precious little one.
Today few families have such support, and frequently become exhausted and overwhelmed by the immense work of becoming parents. Postpartum doulas gently guide and support families through this transition, so that they may get off to the best start with their new baby.
The practical help that is included with a postpartum doula’s services vary, but most doulas make simple meals for the family, comfort and diaper the baby, answer the phone and door, and take care of the baby and any siblings while the parents nap, shower, or take a much-needed break. Some doulas will assist with laundry, errands, or light housekeeping as well.
The doula is not a maid though, nor is she a nurse. She leaves diagnoses and clinical procedures to medically trained personnel, but will make referrals to a medical professional if she notices something of concern. However, it is commonly felt that a doula can help a mother stay healthy, and reduce her chances of postpartum complications. She does this by educating the mother and enabling her to focus on her recovery from birth, and to rest as much as possible. Doulas keep the mother well nourished and hydrated, and help to reduce incidences of sleep deprivation and postpartum depression. Studies have shown that with the help of a postpartum doula, breastfeeding duration is increased, while feeding problems and depression decrease. Also, parents report feeling more confident and less stressed or anxious.
Would you consider hiring a postpartum doula? Or if you have used one in the past, what was your experience like?
http://www.momaroo.com/724540502/how-a-postpartum-doula-can-help-you/
http://www.atinyperspective.com
I just linked up with ‘A Tiny Perspective’ 3D/4D Ultrasound over in Glastonbury Connecticut and I’m super excited about it!
I emailed them asking if I could be listed as a ‘Friend’ on their home page and Joe (Owner) took it one step further and asked if I wanted to come in and look at their wall space to put up some of my photography work!
“images provide a connection between the parents and baby that can be beneficial to the whole family”
How great is that!?
I heard about them through my sister-in-law who had a 3D ultrasound over the winter and she told me how wonderful her experience was when she was there and that made me want to reach out and contact them. The office is beautiful and what an awesome chance to really “see” your baby for the first time..
I’ll post some pictures of the final outcome after my work has been put up over there!
If your between the weeks of 24-34 weeks pregnant I would give them a call to set up an appointment..
I’ve been reading That Wife Blog for a while now ..and I even posted a link to how she was going to prepare for the Postpartum time and just the other day she posted her thoughts on actually living through the Postpartum time ..
which can be a bit different from how you think that time in your life will play out..
I love her honest post and it’s uniquely her experience ..but I know other mother’s and moms-to-be will benefit from reading what she’s been going through.. and you can find it right here:
my phone rang last night at 9:15 p.m .. (which is really quite early for a birth/or births that i’ve attended) ..and the dad-to-be told me that she was already at 9cm!!
and for those out there that don’t know the significance of being 9cm.. well ..let’s just say I rushed out of the house in under 10min and flew down to new haven (from manchester) in about 40min .. my heart was racing just as fast .. i really really wanted to make the birth ..and thought for sure i’d walk in and hear a baby crying ..missing the big event..
but i didn’t miss it ..i made it!! with about 45min to spare .. and i’m so glad i did..
mom was wonderful and calm.. the room was peaceful and quiet ..with just the sounds of hypnobabies (http://www.hypnobabies.com/) playing in the background ..the candles were burning and it just seemed like the perfect night to have a baby ..
(baby olivia getting weighed in by midwife Joni Stone)
a healthy baby girl .. with lot’s and lot’s of dark hair and pretty pink lips .. super cute..
congratulations to the new family of three down in new haven ..
and I’m talking about Lyndsay Stradtner of Life in Motion Photography.. she recently started a new website and it’s a brilliant idea..http://birthphotographers.com/
This is a brand new website to help people searching for Birth Photographers.. and that’s such a great idea! Lyndsay will have guest photographers on there and everything you’ve ever wanted to know about Birth Photography in one spot..
I’ve chatted with lots of families that I’ve worked with that they would have loved to do something like this ..but just didn’t know it was out there or what “Birth Photography” was all about!! There is a lot of us out there.. and now it’s easier to “see” us all in one area..
The International Association of Professional Birth Photographers (IAPBP) was established to assist expectant parents who are in search of a professional birth photographer in their area. IAPBP’s focus is on providing resources to expectant parents, photographers and other birth professionals through education, understanding the birth process, support and respect for each persons birth choices.
IAPBP was founded by Lyndsay Stradtner of Life in Motion Photography. In addition to a thriving portrait and birth photography business, Lyndsay mentors birth photographers from around the world through her mentoring program, The Birth Experience. She resides in Austin, Texas with her husband and three children.
Thanks Lyndsay for starting this .. I think it’s going to become a very valuable resource to a lot of families looking for this type of photography!
There’s just something about them ..and maybe it has a little bit to do with my little guy having his birthday at the end of April.. but it’s always a busy time of year for babies being born and this year is no exception..
-Working with a Postpartum mama this week
-Getting to attend a home-birth at the end of May (Birth Photography)
-My nephew was born on Monday night
Jackson: Working with his mama this week while she takes it easy after having a long labor and a C-section
Keegan: My brand new little nephew!! Love him already..
Happy Friday everyone!
I thought I could prepare for my first baby. I read countless pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding books. I attended prenatal classes as well as a breastfeeding course. I had loads of experience with babies and children, and had many deep conversations with their parents.
And yet, I was hopelessly unprepared. Nothing I had read described the helplessness I felt when my baby wouldn’t stop crying. Or how desperately sleep deprived I was. Or how I would avoid mirrors because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a hairbrush. Nobody told me how guilty I would sometimes feel (often about things out of my control), or how fragile my self-confidence would become.
I, like most expectant mothers, was prepared for labor and delivery, and even for breastfeeding, but not for life postpartum. One reason is that nobody talks about the reality of motherhood, which often doesn’t match the naïve ideal many of us have.
Consequently, as expectant mothers we often underestimate just how much our lives will change when our babies are born. We may believe our babies will sleep peacefully for hours while we work or complete projects. Breastfeeding, as the natural choice, will come easily. Our sweet babies will gaze into our eyes while their fathers lovingly look on.
Then our babies are born, and that “perfect” picture of a quiet, peaceful, sleeping infant is quickly shattered by a very real, screaming, hungry baby. He may nurse more frequently than the expected eight to 12 times, and the feedings may run together, requiring more time and energy than previously imagined. As mothers struggle to reconcile their vision of motherhood with reality, well meaning comments, such as, “Don’t wish this time away” and “Aren’t you just loving your new baby?” can make them feel horrible. One mother admits, “I had a period of time where I thought I’d made a big mistake.” She loved her son deeply, but was having difficulty adjusting her expectations.
The reality of the constant care and attention needed by an infant is something many parents are unprepared for. It can sometimes strain even the best relationship. Some mothers find they are so consumed with caring for their babies that they neglect their spouses. Others resent their spouses’ apparent freedom, because life for them doesn’t appear to be changed.
One couple’s idealized vision of life as new parents was shattered by reality despite a huge amount of preparation on their part. Her pregnancy and delivery went as planned, but their new daughter cried inconsolably for months. When her husband became withdrawn and no longer tried to help, she felt abandoned and resentful. Professional counselling helped her understand that he had felt like his daughter hated him because she cried harder whenever he tried to comfort her. He had been deeply hurt, frustrated, and disappointed. Therapy helped them put their family back together, and now they enjoy a close relationship.
Amanda Philip from Ontario, Canada had the opposite experience. “I was really detached from my daughter and my mothering instinct.” Her husband, on the other hand, seemed to always know how to care for their baby. Amanda felt useless and thought she was a failure as a mother.
Amanda’s picture of new motherhood, like many mothers’ visions before birth, included the certainty that she would instantly fall in love with her baby and instinctively know what to do. It does happen that way — sometimes. When it doesn’t, mothers feel guilty and scared.
Naomi Leboe from British Columbia, Canada remembers sobbing on her husband’s shoulder and feeling like a terrible mother because she was afraid she wasn’t bonding with her baby. Her husband assured her the bond would come, and he was right. Naomi and her son are now very close and share a deep connection. It just took time.
In the LLLI-published book, NIGHTTIME PARENTING, Dr. William Sears writes:
Bonding is not like instant glue which at a critical time suddenly and irrevocably cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a lifelong process of mother-child interaction.
Bonding is also the continuation (rather than the beginning) of a process that began during pregnancy. One mother suggests that her baby’s birth was like a first date — the beginning of a relationship. This analogy might take the pressure off new mothers. Bonding, just like loving our partners, is something we grow into.
Even when the deep connection is there, new mothers can also feel weepy, overwhelmed, and tired. Most, in fact, will experience the “baby blues” — a few days or weeks in which they feel sad, moody, and anxious. New mothers have a lot to contend with, such as rapid hormonal changes, the emotional and physical toll of childbirth, and, of course, sleep deprivation.
Tracey Slater from California, USA was sometimes resentful when her daughter pulled her from a deep sleep for a feeding. She would often cry as she picked her baby up. At the time, she thought she was a “bad mother” for feeling that way, but now understands it was because she was sleep deprived.
Many mothers experience mixed emotions. While we know our babies are depending on us, the responsibility can be overwhelming, especially in the early days when we are so affected by the “baby blues” and exhaustion. The change from being independent women to having our lives revolve so completely around our babies is difficult. Many mothers feel anxious and scared. One mother remembers, “I thought they were crazy to let me go home from the hospital — what the heck did I know about newborn care?”
Sabrina Bassett from Ontario, Canada was afraid of what people would think of her and of what might happen when she went out. What if her baby cried? She couldn’t relax with her baby, but she was even more stressed without her. Her anxiety made it difficult to leave the house. “I resented the solitude. I never realized that being around someone 24 hours a day could be so lonely.”
That sense of isolation can also stem from a recent move, from being far away from other family members, or from being the first in a group of friends to have a baby. It can even grow from the feelings of inadequacy that can come with having a “high-need” baby. Dr. Sears describes these babies as intense, “in arms,” and demanding.
The whole article: http://www.llli.org/NB/NBJulAug06p148.html
I saw this posted by another Doula and thought it was worth passing on..
